I couldnt find her vag and just started laughing uncontrollably. She was not pleased. Neither was i.
it took me about 5 minutes before I knew it was in her ass. i thought the first time would be a bit more special
i convinced her that her period would come back if we did it doggy style
i love that feeling when you wake up and have no idea how you got back to your dorm or why you have mac and cheese on your cheeks and eyelashes in your mouth
My grandmother cheats at beer pong and has been rubbing her tainted victory in my face for an hour now.
I'm not liking this ratio of moving to blowjobs...
Um, you were throwing up the shocker symbol in front of all of the wedding guests during the best man's speech. No wonder the groom thinks we're bad
You know you're sufficiently drunk when the 411 dude just says, "Fuck it! I'll Google that shit for you, what movie do you want to see?" and proceeds to give you showtimes for 3 different theatres.
So hungover and decided to eat a burrito and a pot brownie for dinner, this is what adulthood looks like.
I might as well just sew it shut at this point.
My mom always wanted to raise a classy lady, it just turned out to not be her daughter.
Hey guys so who is Justin McGoo and why did I text him "fuck yooooouuu juuuustiiin mcgooo" at 12:06am on Thursday night?
Were you the one who yelled "FOR GLORYHOLE!" then punched a hole through my door?
I've got five complains from the landlord about she being too loud during sex in two weeks I'm marrying her
his mom walked in while he was eating me out. and my vag was facing the door. luckily his face was in it.
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