You are a beautiful, beautiful young lady. Your heart is made of tissue, blood and love. I will call you very soon, Princess Sophia.
Congratulations on your moose knuckle.
Thank you. Really, it was an honor just being nominated.
How was dinner with ur grandparents?
I was really blazed and scared they'd catch me, so when they asked about my day I was concentrating really hard on not saying smoking that instead I honestly said "Well, I had sex on your pool table, Nana."
at a bar and heard one girl tell another her tampon string was showing she goes i dont want it in anymore anyways. then proceeds to pull out her tampon in the middle of the bar and leave it on a plate. ewwww
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
After I told my husband the docter shot me in the ass, he said - oh they can but I can't?!
when my professor asked "does anyone know what streches across south america" and a kid in the back row said "my exgirfriends vagina" i knew i was at home.
That's why she's the girl with her life together and you're the girl with the penis drawn on your car.
I just watched nsync videos for the past half hour and you could totally tell lance bass was gay in all of them
Yep we found him face down in my sister's bathroom begging for blowjobs without mustard
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You spent about half an hour trying to convince me that mesh condoms were a good idea.
malibu coconut giveth, and malibu coconut taketh away
Quick question. What's the protocol on going back to a bar after going home with one of their bartenders?
Go back and try to find another to go home with.
hey give me heads up if you're feeling vulnerable tomorrow night
They're giving you narcotics aren't they?
If I offered to share would you come visit me?
she wouldnt leave because they were playing One Direction. I'm dating a thirteen year old.
Randomize