she just sneezed while going down on me. is it rude for me to ask her to do it again?
gotta love it when a reminder comes up on your phone and u think u forgot about a meeting or something then u read it and its only to remind me to go to the titty bar at 3
If you are in NYC and not seeing anyone, you should come fucke me now because:1 i am not in love with you anymore, 2 i am drunk enough where i won't feel the n eed to kisx you awardly to avoid your beard, 3we have unfinished business that i wpn't get -assed unyil orgass have been had, 4 i really really want to
Pretty sure I just slept with Elmo.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Talk about the highs and lows of a night out: had a threesome, then got robbed at knifepoint.
Just gave a urinal high five to a complete stranger. Might not be such a bad night after all
Dude, if she brings up the lube, you know nothing
that's why you don't digest questionable powders from girls wearing tutus at a dirty club
Found a beard hair in my crotch.... care to explain?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I did nothing besides stay sober all night, I walked home to find max naked knocking cups off the counter with his cock lol
We're not in high school anymore. I'm not going to pretend to be impressed as he butchers my favorite songs on his guitar. I just wanted to get laid.
So after taking my shirt off, he pulls my bra off like a hockey jersey. FUCKIN PRO. Guy knew what he wanted.
In case you're wondering... Yes walmart will judge you for buying vodka and pickles at 645am.
Tomorrow's lesson plan is going to be on hangovers and why drinking during the week is never a good idea. I hope my boss approves.
He fucks strippers and doesn’t have a life plan. Of course I’m going to regret this
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