if your leaving for the weekend then im farting on your pillow
I am so fucking pissed, there are no Shamwows in the As Seen on TV Store.
Looks like you'll have to stick to jizzing in socks.
When we made out her lip\nose ring fell out in my mouth. Awkward?
Sitting in class thinking wow im glad im not hungover...and then i realized im still drunk.
Just saw the new iPhone. I would totally let Steve Jobs and Jon Ive eiffel tower me right now.
random question: do you know anywhere in the tri-state that has elephant racing? this is a work related question.
No sexy Asian girl. No comfy bed. I'm just gonna lie here in the hall next to the garbage can until someone comes home.
Ok! I picked up an anti-celebratory bottle of champagne on the way to dinner for her going to rehab. That's how I feel about this...
we went from five shot glasses to three in one night. we lost 'badass' and gumbi, but the ninja turtle survived. courtney says to avoid any more casualties we're not allowed to use shot glasses past 1am. and we're not allowed to throw them
Just consider it? What else do you have going on today that could be as awesome as a day full of lord of the rings and sex?
I just need to drink whiskey get off and eat some cheese. Why is that so fucking hard for god to deliver.
Just threw up in the shower. Hangovers at 23 are the best.
I love when my neighbors have passionate, loud sex to remind me that I'm not getting laid
I don't trust him but hanging out with him might be fun
he's literally satan but yeah probably
Howd it go?
Well we had the "no we're not fucking on the porch" conversation but then we totally fucked on the porch. So I'd say alright.
Randomize
