Ppl just aren't as funny as we are
Is it weird if i grunt like Tim Taylor when im having sex AND grilling steaks??
does it bother you that i swallowed like millions of your unborn children
actually, i try not to think about it
and i pooped them out
So you know how craigslist used to have an "erotica" section? And how after you click on a link it changes a darker color? And how Dad stays up really late most nights?
Oh god... well at least he's gettin some. Mom's a prude.
Urine might work for jellyfish stings, but we found out it doesn't work well for nose bleeds...
after giving head I just always feel like I need like. ice cream. as both a means of getting the lingering sperm out of my mouth, and a congratulations.
The pool of urine in the trash can signifies both a regretful yet successful night.
with hottub sex, handcuffs, Pocahontas themed lap dances, and eating pumpkin pie off each other, I'm gonna say thanksgiving will be a success ;)
She was two things I dont understand: tall and Christian
Well, I woke up on a roll-away, with a knot in the back of my head and penis confetti stuck to me. Also, I apparently literally gave the shirt off my back right before I passed out, so I was topless. Vegas won this trip.
Dude, you GARGLED with bleu cheese last night!
THE FASTEST WAY TO MY HEART IS THROUGH FAMILY SIZED BAGS OF GENERIC BRAND CHEESE BALLS
Really though. It's your life, live it how you want
And I do mostly. Which is why I'm now drunk in my room writing erotica
I just made out with his twin, technically it's the same person..... Right?
It really hurts to walk. Any idea what happened to my hip?
Randomize
