she didnt even puke last nite, shes finally hit champion status. i think im in love
I heard Topanga got a DUI. I need that mugshot asap.
They need to add a relationship status option on fb that says "having the baby of..."
Would you like to blur the lines between friendship and lesbianism tonight?
My penis hasn't been this frustrated since I was like 13 and I awkwardly got boners at school dances
Just found my toeprints on the glass of his sunroof.
I love watching the kids I sold drugs to score touchdowns
Just calculated that for my last final tomorrow I need 120% to improve my grade and 53% to keep it..buying 30 packs now, go get dressed
If i ever start ordering tequila again please tackle me to the ground and steal my wallet
I have to masturbate tonight while watching every Paul Walker movie ever made. It's what he would have wanted. RIP Paul.
I had a flashback of using my sock as a napkin after we got taco bell
I'm in my onesie attempting to spoon-feed myself cold soup. I'm playing freeze tag with my hangover. My hangover's winning.
Well, while we went through airport security, I found out Mom got her clit pierced, so there's that.
Dude I just clenched/unclenched my hindquarters while looking in the mirror I have fucking talent
Btw I thought it was impossible to use up 48 bottles of patron in one night but I was wrong...
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