You just compared our sex life to a seven year old kid.
Yeah..And after he fingered me, he wiped it on my face and laughed.
ew wtf
Unless I'm getting a singing midget telegram, I'm not going to smile
I envy your ability to put any word in front o the word beer and make drinking before 5 sound like a socially sanctioned event.
Sometimes to bang a cougar u gotta play wii With her kids
I think his glow in the dark Star Wars sheets, at the time, really turned me on.
One person in the car. Three blizzards. Alot of judging.
im just going to wait until i dont feel like the grim reaper is having sex with me
Her Grandmother felt me up AND paid for dinner. If she doesn't get her shit together I'm gonna be her Step Grandfather.
It's a goat... but where the fuck did it come from?
If you need us, Zoe and I will be on my kitchen floor drinking Gatorade and crying
I feel like my dick pic collection should be archived at the Smithsonian
How drunk you think somebody has to be, that they think that putting out a profile pic like that can be even a slightly good idea?
Russell is lonely. He needs a companion.
You're lucky you have a monster cock or most people may just laugh at your penis' nickname.
I would go disguised as someone he didn't have premature ejaculative sex with but I don't know if I could stay in character.
Randomize
