Vomit. Vomit. Whatever. You wear a tiara in public.
too bad they don't have a 'people you may be able to do' thing on facebook. it would save me a lot of fucking time.
seagrams + popov + pineapple + milk. there, ur search for worlds worst drink is over. you're welcome
My parents just told me I first got drunk when I was 4. Successsssssss
I mean we havent seen each other since december and then bam its cinco de mayo and were having sex under a life guard tower taking tequila shots between each position. no big deal
You SHOULD feel empty, we were at the top of our game, and by that i mean snorting things we don't understand and only a few steps away from adultery.
i'm forwarding you the dirty picture of that fat girl that likes me sent . i feel like since youre my best friend you should puke in your mouth too .
Bed, food, and you got really nice boobs. That's it really. Foundations of friendship right there.
FUCK and YOU. times 10. To infinity and beyond. You bastard. Worst. Cockblock. Ever. I'm going to nail your sister.
I had sex upstairs in my parents house, and my mom texted me and said "those raccoons are out of control in the walls."
That wasn't even sex. That was a fuckoning
...did you just create a word for what we did?
I just peed on myself the semester has officially began.
You smell like a steam boat captain.
Whatever your on right now, I want.
I blacked out after the piñata full of condoms
be the chaos you wish to see in the world...
i'm trying to figure out how to respond to that in text
Randomize
