she left her pants. im pretty sure she grabbed mine on accident. im like 9 man sizes bigger than her. wtf
wait, did i just see you litter out your window??
umm, i have a hybrid. it cancels out.
I will fuck a handful of worms if you hold them
You act like I'm friends with her or something. I only screw her boyfriend!
Oh yeah.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So i closed my laptop as i started to fall off my bed and then i caught myself and realized that moment of catching myself is the difference between tuesday and friday.
Unintentionally made him cum in his own mouth, and he just sat there screaming..
She came to the party dressed as slutty elmo and then called me oscar the grouch for not wanting to bang her in the dumpster outside.
she is way to in-touch with her childhood
God, you're amazing. I just want to hang out with you in the nude and watch Monty Python movies whilst we quip about how comedians just aren't as funny anymore.
Credit for originality. Points off for a mild to moderate creepy factor.
When she sees your dick for the first time, tell her it glows blue when orcs are close
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You kept insisting you found queso that's better than oral sex
He's standing in the corner rubbing his nipples and reflecting on poor life choices
Safe to say we should stock up on nipple bandaids ladies
I just watched my mom pour beer into her vodka and drink it.
Sometimes I look at dogs and just thing about how it's weird we both came from wolves
Lay off the drugs kid
My life is a random series of events connected only by bottles of Seagram's 7
Randomize