Regardless of the degree, it's probably not good to relate so closely to the Steve-O documentary.
five shots of tequila, anal and 3 cigarettes. not my best idea on a saturday afternoon.
There's some strange man with hair that keeps talking to us. I'm scared.
This is how horror movies start. Going to bar with strange hair guy. He's paying. Bad idea?
Ditched hair man. Got free cab ride to market. Want food. I win.
how can you tell if its a queef or a fart from that close?
Just getting around to doing laundry. Jesus there's a lot of blood on my birthday dress.
I'm in the liquor aisle and a 10 yr old boy yells, "My favorite beer is Corona! Daddy remember when you gave me some on our camping trip?"
I'd like to introduce you to my friend, Moderation. Enjoy each other's company this weekend.
Your friend and I already don't get along
I think we should get high on adderall and nair each other again for New years.
I'm so fucking horny right now If I blink I might cum
So his roommate walked in on us, went upstairs to tell her bf she has found a new use for the rafters & they must try it.
He's hot and has an accent therefore you don't ask questions when he tells you to take your pants off.
I want to be a supportive friend to her, but I also want to sleep with her ex now that he's single.
Also, your girlfriend apologized to me about yesterday. That was nice of the cunt.
I can't find my keys and there's a hotdog in my purse.
Yeah, we got drunk and stole road signs.
Randomize
