on a scale of one to ten, how awkward would it i told him i had to go change my tampon and then left?
11
I'm afraid that if I tell my sister I think Zachary Quinto is gay I'll have to put her on suicide watch for the next week or so
At this point, I would light birthday candles in my vagina for free drinks
he's super hid and wouldn't leave us alone so i snatched his phone and started texting lovelink (thanks for a well-timed commercial) that will cost him money. muhahaha
I'm pretty sure you're not supposed to hit on someone with another guy's semen in your hair. not even at ihop.
For future reference, the words 'big' and 'problem' should be used sparingly with a person whom you have recently had copious amounts of unprotected sex
Please don't tell me I was shouting "I'm bleeding from my vagina" in front of my ex-boyfriend and his new girlfriend.
I just discovered the Reese's pieces and sourdough bread sandwich. No signs of coming down.
He tried to cuddle with me after we hooked up and i just looked at him and said why are you still here?
We could supplement the Tour with Edward Andre-hands. Because 40s are for the 99%.
VAGINAS ASSEMBLE!
I'm not seeing this movie with you.
For the record, it's NEVER ok to discuss my stripper-related injuries with my fiance.
note to self: do not snort crushed up caffeine pills in the bathroom by yourself when ur super shit faced, ur face will fucking hate you in the morning.
You have mono. It's like being pregnant, your are excused from normal social niceties like responding to people.
I'm the only person I know that carries solo cups, shot glasses, ping pong balls, two decks of cards, and a lawn chair in his trunk. I'm ready to turn anything, anywhere into a party.
Randomize
