I just saw how many times I called you last night. You're welcome.
You're not pinnochio. Lying isn't going to make it bigger.
i hate that you can chart my weight gain through my facebook pictures.
you tried to do a keg stand and ended up flipping over it and onto the table
23 Theme Park Employees Confess The Biggest Adult Tantrums They’ve Witnessed
Her parents came home early, i had to hug her mom with a condom on...
Ethically speaking on a scale from 1 to morally wrong, how wrong would it be to give babies ambien? Hypothetically speaking.
Tonight was the second time that I've pretended like English was my 2nd language to avoid conversation w a creeper.
You used up your allotted blow job minutes for the month of April last night anyways
Repeat. Dildo on the ceiling, confiscated potato shooter, and bottle of yegger. Repeat. Ceiling dildo and yegger.
23 Crazy Psychological Tricks You Have To Try on Someone RIGHT NOW
I've got my wine, though it wasnt very good so I threw a sour patch kid in it
I sold him an eighth while trippin balls wearin my girlfriends tutu and tube top. and i was talking about albinos the entire time
well, he defiantly picked the right guy to buy drugs from
He walked away from the girl that just blew him to hook up with another girl, and when she got pissed he just turned around and screamed, "SHE IS LIKE 10X HOTTER THAN YOU!" Then she went on an angry dick sucking rampage. There were 4 victims.
She's started this new thing where whenever she drives by random couples talking alone outside she yells "break up! this is your sign!"
No I don't want to see you. You're the reason that I'm going to need a new liver by the time I'm 30.
not sure if destroying him emotionally was worth it but damn it's a fucking hilarious story
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