Texts From Last Night

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  (651): View more from Minnesota

  I'm so never shaving my vag in a target bathroom for him again.

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  (651): I'm so never shaving my vag in a target bathroom for him again. http://tfl.nu/g370
  Replies (33) Good night (897) Bad night (7050)
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  (239): View more from Florida

  At barnes & noble, drinking beer out of thermoses, lookin legit.

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  (239): At barnes & noble, drinking beer out of thermoses, lookin legit. http://tfl.nu/fc4g
  Replies (35) Good night (9210) Bad night (800)
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  (224): View more from Illinois

  hey, when you wake up, search yourself on youtube

  (630): View more from Illinois

  my sister already found it, were watching it right now. i give it 2 thumbs up.

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  (224): hey, when you wake up, search yourself on youtube (630): my sister already found it, were watching it right now. i give it 2 thumbs up. http://tfl.nu/cxvl
  Replies (17) Good night (7408) Bad night (824)
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  (951): View more from California

  my dentist asked me why my tooth was chipped, i told him i couldn't remember. i think he understands.

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  (951): my dentist asked me why my tooth was chipped, i told him i couldn't remember. i think he understands. http://tfl.nu/553v
  Replies (21) Good night (4520) Bad night (1234)
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  (405): View more from Oklahoma

  She clogged the toilet and got it out with a seven eleven bag. I tried to tell her no but she was convinced that was the logical thing to do.

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  (405): She clogged the toilet and got it out with a seven eleven bag. I tried to tell her no but she was convinced that was the logical thing to do. http://tfl.nu/bqi8
  Replies (3) Good night (866) Bad night (4481)
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  (314): View more from Missouri

  You know, I had the money for a pregnancy test, but at the time, tacos were more important.

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  (314): You know, I had the money for a pregnancy test, but at the time, tacos were more important. http://tfl.nu/ehih
  Replies (18) Good night (2590) Bad night (2827)
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  (314): View more from Missouri

  I found a fried uncrustable on the table from last night.

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  (314): I found a fried uncrustable on the table from last night. http://tfl.nu/0xi5
  Replies (5) Good night (1856) Bad night (1063)
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  (215): View more from Pennsylvania

  i figured out i could get from the downstairs bar to the upstairs bar AND grab pizza by going through the kitchen. it was the greatest discovery of my life besides the flabongo.

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  (215): i figured out i could get from the downstairs bar to the upstairs bar AND grab pizza by going through the kitchen. it was the greatest discovery of my life besides the flabongo. http://tfl.nu/xre9
  Replies (8) Good night (1585) Bad night (617)
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  (229): View more from Georgia

  He played the same pre-sex songs as his brother...

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  (229): He played the same pre-sex songs as his brother... http://tfl.nu/bv7d
  Replies (8) Good night (878) Bad night (2561)
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  (720): View more from Colorado

  So apparently I threw a potted plant at a clown last night and told him to get his life together.

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  (720): So apparently I threw a potted plant at a clown last night and told him to get his life together. http://tfl.nu/i6go
  Replies (12) Good night (2129) Bad night (942)
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  (856): View more from New Jersey

  i stole nothing, broke nothing, and stabbed nothing. aren't you proud of me?

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  (856): i stole nothing, broke nothing, and stabbed nothing. aren't you proud of me? http://tfl.nu/5yrh
  Replies (5) Good night (1415) Bad night (435)
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  (813): View more from Florida

  Legitimately sent a work email with "Hey, you kids, get off my lawn" as the subject line.

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  (813): Legitimately sent a work email with "Hey, you kids, get off my lawn" as the subject line. http://tfl.nu/x7j1
  Replies (5) Good night (854) Bad night (337)
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  (215): View more from Pennsylvania

  I just hope I don't wheeze during sex

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  (215): I just hope I don't wheeze during sex http://tfl.nu/q60s
  Replies (1) Good night (368) Bad night (594)
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  (530): View more from California

  So, what my linguistics project should really be called is "I happen to sleep/makeout with a lot of bilinguals and am now using them to help me graduate"

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  (530): So, what my linguistics project should really be called is "I happen to sleep/makeout with a lot of bilinguals and am now using them to help me graduate" http://tfl.nu/9pbz
  Replies (1) Good night (371) Bad night (156)
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  (914): View more from New York

  Should probably stop going into the gas station to look for the most normal person to hitch a ride with to drive me to a party

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  (914): Should probably stop going into the gas station to look for the most normal person to hitch a ride with to drive me to a party http://tfl.nu/xpgj
  Replies (1) Good night (130) Bad night (238)

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