Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(404): View more from Georgia

He can't get past my hymen. At least that's what he said it feels like.

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(631): View more from New York

there is cereal in my wallet where all the cash used to be.

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(856): View more from New Jersey

I incognito puked under the VIP table. Did Jersey proud.

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(707): View more from California

I think it's time we have the "weird fetish" talk.

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21 Of The Most Impressive Things Ever Seen In Porn
Read it at the TFLN blog
(802): View more from Vermont

If you're fucking that other dude, I'll take the sloppy seconds. I don't care.

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(210): View more from Texas

so, give him that "thank you for fighting for my freedom bj" & he wont even remember what you said in that six min voice mail.

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(920): View more from Wisconsin

I just pulled a piece of cookie out of my bra in the middle of class. I'm forever alone.

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(432): View more from Texas

I hate being the only medical professional in the group. I always end up patching you guys or being the DD when I'm on call. I have problems I need to drown in booze too...

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(727): View more from Florida

My Uber driver last night was driving a taxi and tried to charge me fare.

(851): View more from

You didn't get in your Uber because your ex was driving, that was a legitimate taxi.

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