May have just accidentally purchased an iphone on Kate's credit card. This has potential to be bad.
Saw some pubes in our toilet, hope the new look works out tonight.
she said she's never had and orgasm AND she's a cubs fan...ouch.
hot doctor. gonna get him to touch my tits. 'think i felt a lump' excuse in 3-2-1...
seriously when did my vagina become a soup kitchen for the poor
drunk caitlyn doesn't know how to work gmail. so know an email has been sent to the entire campus with a picture of me naked eating a bagel attached.
Hostess is going out of business we'll never survive the apocalypse
Dude, I brought the fucking tequila to that party and they cheered for the chick that seriously only brought limes.
I had sex on a dinosaur comforter, tell me that does not define my life.
Last night you made me help you pick the raisins out of a kashi bar and acted like it was the most important thing to ever happen to you or our friendship
I taught a straight girl about grindr today. She showed me tinder. It was like some sexual cultural exchange program
I say this out of love and friendship. Eat ice cream not the d.
His truck was very sexy. Unfortunately, shortly thereafter, I discovered that the whole overcompensating thing is very true...
I woke up to an email from expedia confirming my flight to hong kong
I’m a go ahead and fuck down ATL. So when I leave in January I’ll have no regrets.
Randomize
