i gave her road head last night, needless to say it wasn't the same and i bit a chunk of the inside of my cheek off.
Playing the biology drinking game in my 8am. Drink everytime he says species or organism. I love st. Patricks day
Took it a bit far last night. While leaving his house, I sent myself a text that said, 'you're still pretty"
Thanks for convincing the hot dog guy to give me one for $1 after I drunkenly dropped the first one. I loved your reasoning "I know you mark that shit up! I work in retail!"
The girl who overdosed in the bathroom at work is back....help?
Almost just bought a peacock. I need to get off Craigslist
I didn't pay for a single drink 'help me I'm poor' was my drink pickup line. it totally worked.
It was disgusting, and I would've rather licked the condensation off the windows instead, but I figured that's wasn't very ladylike
I can only send "I want your dick" texts to so many guys before I accidentally over-book myself. I need a day planner.
God, you're amazing. I just want to hang out with you in the nude and watch Monty Python movies whilst we quip about how comedians just aren't as funny anymore.
Credit for originality. Points off for a mild to moderate creepy factor.
Since Josh is going to be Carl Sagan for Halloween, he bought a turtleneck and sportsman jacket. It's all my nerd fantasies come true.
Listen, I bought the coke that got us those free drinks, okay? Show some respect.
Everytime I give him head I make him rub my back. Teamwork at it's finest.
Can you explain to me why I showed my boobs to the firemen to get free beer?
If you shit your pants and not say anything about it right before we have sex one more time I'm dumping you.
Randomize
