hahahahahahhahahahaha. 26, Dominican, has a funny accent, thinks I'm hot. Tots boning.
I'm not sure if what i'm hearing downstairs is sex or not, but if it is, it sounds like there's a dog involved...i'm mildly concerned.
I think he finally resigned to the fact he could not get off. He just looked at me and said "I'm having testicle difficulties," rolled over and passed out.
Thank you for holding my bra last night while i did a topless lap around the house
I'm taking a new approach to homewrecking... for science. Or I totally would. I have to see what happens between my ex & his brother when he finds out.
At least you have booty calls.
True. I just waste them though. I feel like I need to be told "there are people in this world who would give anything for just one and you have two." You know in that same tone your parents told you about the starving people in china
In two unrelated events today I have had frostbite on my toe and cum up my nose. Who says life stops when you get married?
Doing the walk of shame at 1 AM. Stumbled across a rave. This night is epic.
ok, i suppose pissing your pants could be considered a wardrobe malfunction.
You think I'll get the "I used to stick it to your daughter" discount?
Thanks for the bagel and the sex.
I feel like I could get pregnant watching Zac Efron do yard work in this movie
Preface: Im drunk. But i think id make a good assasin. That is all.
He stopped mid thrust ... To check snap chat .. From his roomie
Was just at a stoplight and some kid was smoking a blunt and we smiled at him and he offered to pass it between cars... Only in Rockford
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