There's a fat drunk walrus bitch here next to me and shes already puked and now falling on herself
OH FUCK NOW HER BOYFRIEND IS MAKING OUT WITH HER VOMIT HOLE
Sounds like a good blink 182 concert...
I realized today that I should stop thinking so much with my vagina instead of my brain.
Please tell me this doesn't mean another "surprise road trip" where I spend all my money on gas and the SURPRISE destination is the abortion clinic.
But what if I pay for the gas?
Calvin and Hobbes are double-teaming a butterfly. They're in the bathroom, and drawing a crowd.
You grabbed her hand and started jacking her finger off. She was horrified.
Did it finish?
Overall win. We all know who got to sleep on the concrete outside of Denny's with you.
I'm actually drinking gin and juice out of a floridas natural carton...so if that has any indication of how I'm doing
I did get to watch you pee, tho. That counts as another precious moment.
If someone told me one person in the department was secretly a death eater, I would suspect her, no contest.
the next thing I knew, I was on the floor of a Tim Hortons bathroom in Canada.
You know Sunday Funday was a success when 'puke and rally' came at lunchtime on Monday.
Shriek
We had sex last night...... This "Friends" thing is going well.
I apparently tried to wax off my nipples.This explains the pain
taking shots alone in my kitchen before I go learn to give a lapdance. when did this become my life?
I got drunk and bought a house last night. Also, I threw up on Mike's lawn. I'm pretty excited about one of those two things.
What are you feeling right now?
Idk. I just flashed a porch 🤷🏼♀️
So not in the best place to do an emotional inventory
Randomize
