Just saw my boss eat a banana in three bites.
P.S. I can't hear my feet
ya and he came three minutes into it because he didnt have sex all summer
oh that makes more sense i knew you arent that good
I mean. If you don't have time I understand, but my dick doesn't.
Wake and baked to watch the boston marathon. God I love massachusetts
She sucked my dick when I had a concussion. It was the coolest feeling ever but the doctor said it was a bad idea. He's obviously gay.
Every time I remember you're bi, the world gets a little brighter.
Just start grabbing cocks. It can't go wrong! Just say you thought you knew him and wanted to check.
Nothing says walk of shame like leather pants in daylight
I'm just trying to absorb as much of the fluids from the carpet as I can.
You just referred to a pillow with a stolen bra strapped to it as "she". Let that sink in for a minute.
I should get him a card "thanks for letting me use you for your penis on and off as I see fit and for being a nice guy. My boobs and I appreciate your loyalty and dedication"
He used the term 'cock-staggering' in an email. So needless to say things are going pretty well.
Having sex with my girlfriend wearing my old Tom Brady jersey on the day he's freed is the closest I'll come to a 3way with Tom
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
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