This random guy just introduced himself then said "So, I am staying at my friends place and he has a 4 year old, so we should probably go back to your house." WTF kind of vibes do I give off?
First shot of my 21st. 11 a.m. in econ class. Success.
Well, it's 24 hours till finals. I need high A's on all of them and I still am not sure where exactly on campus most of my classes took place.
You should have been there to see the look on her face when I told her that my dog gives better head than her. It was a beautiful symphony of shock, anger, and disbelief.
She got all mad because she said it was "unprofessional" to tell my manager to go fist herself.
We drove past his house blaring "Like a virgin" in the middle of the day. pretty sure he heard.
Dwarf fight at five guys. Today was a good day.
So I am guessing last night was a success we are all accounted for and only 3 of us have hospital bracelets on
god. I was just thinkin about the fact that there was a time in our life when we didn't drink.
Also, did you really start discussing the weather in the middle of telling you my sexual fantasy about you?
he can suck his own dick, i cant compete with that
Don't worry dude, I've created a sex logic bomb to stop that sort of thing.
My house is about to be spotless and the only person visiting is the plumber and not the porno kind.
Hypothetically - think of it as Schrodinger's blow-job.
Your girlfriend agreed to a threesome, I saw dogs in a bar. It seems life is falling into place for us
Randomize
