So she said grabbing my cock was like holding a giant crayola from pre-school.
that was the beginning of the end.
I love reading their "i love you more" , "no i love you more" war on facebook today knowing that he hooked up with me last night. I bet i know who wins that one.
So they discontinued the hummer... Now people will have to go door to door to let others know they're assholes
you're close to getting here right? Because if you're still not here and I have to get dressed to answer the door for the pizza guy, i'm tipping him $100 on your credit card to spite you
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Her directions to the house party: "the north star will guide you, turn left. I'm wearing the potato hat"
I wish I could sell my textbooks directly to my drug dealer and cut out the middle man
I've hooked up with six guys in my ethics class next semester...I feel like I've failed already
I remember telling you it was cold out because the sun was going to explode and people were going to fight for corn. I feel I've mislead you.
I'm calling it the Friendlationship with Benefits Zone.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Getting "I couldn't find the front door so I climbed in through window" drunk seems to be a habit of yours
Well its all fun and games until you get naked with your ex in the shower. that's NOT flirting
He said he'd prefer a photo rather than discuss politics, I sent him a snapchat "conservative shorts 4 conservative man". He said "be liberal"
last night is slowly putting itself back together. Its one giant slutty puzzle, all the pieces are covered in tequila and shame.
Oh god, I forgot we had sex to Elton John
If I wanna spend the whole night tied up and getting railed I'm allowed to do so
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