so i woke up to her 8 year old asking for a bowl of cereal...
i woke up with my moms heels on underneath your couch cushions
you want 1 or 2 eggos?
Should I shave my pubes in the shape of a top hat so I can nickname my junk Abe Lincoln?
woke up this morning with "hah" written on my penis.i was like wtf?? morning wood kicked in and found out what it really said, haNNah.then i remembered.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so what if he's got a new girlfriend. the guy i'm fucking has an english accent. i win.
her face looked like how i feel after Taco Bell
well judging by the amount of dired blood around my nipple rings i'm gonna assume it was a good night
He'd bedazzaled his ass. Im not even that gay...
We role played last night. I was Brandon Inge and she was some slut from Toledo. Let's just say Triple A might not be so disappointing after all.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh man, buzzed lunch fridays almost got out of hand.
You're the only person I know who could blow literal chunks, laugh about it, then proceed to shotgun another beer. Love you champ.
not totally sure where im at but i think i've definitely woken up on this couch before. bong on the coffee table looks familiar. should be able to find my way home
my pupils became my eyes and i slept with a cloth in my mouth again
I found all these half eaten mandarin orange on the ground and the bruises on my neck are definetely not hickies
The only thing I remember last night was feeding my dog 4 McDoubles.
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