my boyfriend just told me he used to have genital herpes. I was gonna have sex with him, but now it's SOOO over.
what kind of stupid fuck tells you that BEFORE sex? he is definitely not a keeper.
at least he lost his v-card with a bang... or should i say the clap.
At least you weren't that one girl in the bar that was letting everyone draw on her in sharpie. Worst decision I've ever witnessed.
More likely there's a very shell-shocked cat wandering around somewhere, covered in potato peelings
I don't really see how asking you not to cum on my face or hair makes me high maintenance
Sounds good. Stay safe. I'm kind of drunk in a Food 4 Less right now and I'm having the time of my life.
She called us while she was having sex to ask if we remembered to feed the cat
I dont understand how her boyfriend puts up with her weirdness
It's now 8:05 on a Wednesday night and I'm already going home with my bra in my purse.
I've had balls on my face twice in last 48 hours and I STILL haven't got laid!
Apparently I walked to Denny's in the pouring rain without shoes just socks last night. Excellent.
I'm 50% sure my cousin put weed in these deviled eggs.
Apparently you can unlock an iPad by doing a line on the lock screen I'm about to bust that myth
But, if I start dating you brother, I can't talk to you about the sex anymore!! Like... Can we talk about it anonymously?! I just won't use his name.
logically I know i should probably study somewhere outside my dorm room, but if I do that then I cant drink and smoke half as much while i study
Are we DOING anything for lunch...if sex is involved, let's just be straight forward and stop wasting the first half hour! We just need to get to the point
Randomize
