very cute, but more "I wanna put you in my pocket and keep you as a pet" and less "please bang me" type of cute.
i'm sick of taking my pants off and seeing a look of disappointment on the girls face. i want her to be frigthened
I seem to have left my pride at pride
I got to stop making out with my boss at work. I think we should just get it overwith, be dissaponted and move on.
He scored a 8.5/10 on that girls powerpoint. Of course I slept with him
grown man stumbling drunk down green street wearing nothing but a hot dog costume and crying. its not even noon yet.
There is a girl on the metro with no shoes and she's using a Crown Royal bag as a purse.
he handed me my panties in front of my date. turns out he wasn't that mad.
You kept running up to married couples, taking their pictures and begging for them not to get divorced
We don't watch enough power rangers
Now I can't say for certain but I'm 90 percent are I bathed myself with dog shampoo last night
So... I woke up on a bench with a honey bun on my chest.
Getting robbed by hookers is def a right of passage in a mans life
while on the topic of showers...why is there apple juice in our bathtub?
hey i'm sure you are probably asleep bc you suck and think sleep is necessary to live or something?
Randomize
