We learned a valuable lesson from last night. You can, in fact, order bacon on a Big Mac.
Frozen waffles and wine. Loneliness-party of one
Is percocet and coffee considered a balanced breakfast?
If the cops knock on your door and ask if you saw anyone throw an orange out the window I was never there.
Why do i feel like Captain Hook just gave me a pap smear?
I've never had goosebumps on my dick before. It was definitely not a bad feeling.
I need to reevaluate. My boss gave me drug money. I overslept on my couch. And I had my student teacher go to McDonald's and get an egg mcmuffin for me.
it was just another one of those moments where you unfriendzone a friend you assumed to be gay
Easy. Go to walmart, buy a bag of charcoal. everyone gets a present and it's cheap.
i just had diarrhea that people from the 1930's would have died from
She just kept roaring and saying Katy Perry had nothing on her. Wtf did she take?
Bruise count after new years, 7. 2018 is looking up.
He told me that losing me was the biggest mistake of his life. Of course it was. My tits are incredible and I know more about college football than he does.
Are you rolling a joint while doing homework?
No, I am rolling a joint with my homework.
It's been a week I should not still be finding glitter in my pants.
Randomize
