My secretary told me she wishes she can have an affair with someone in the office (she's separated from her cheating husband)...Umm...Okaaay
this is amy. the small petlike person from the womens bathroom at the reef.
Well we ran into the cornfields when the cops got there. We'd been hiding in there for 45 mins when he asks me "So this wasn't exactly how I'd planned this but I thought I'd ask. How do you feel about oral sex?"
Drunk, high, and in a taco costume. Wish you were here.
it makes more sense than having a misplaced asshole
im not talking about this
He fucked my earring out of my ear. Of course he's coming over again.
I don't give a shit about soccer but I'm really excited about drinking at 7 in the morning
I may still return these pants. Depends how much they smell like alcohol by tmrw morning. I've already spilled once.
I maybe just had sex outside in broad daylight. At a state park. Please be proud.
We broke the shower door. Completely off. His roommates were not happy but I sure was
Seriously, dude... You knows its bad when you gag on her nipple.
"But puppies!" Is not an acceptable excuse for trying to drunkenly steal someone's dog, you promiscuous midget!!
We're all just looking at each other quietly, hoping that no one brings up last nights shenanigans.
It's like you know you got fucjed up when you wake up and check fir your own pulse
he was Irish, I had to have sex with him.
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