I'm going to jail i love you
It's just like riding a horse. A very tall, gay horse.
I feel wrong giving my mom a cash gift full of dirty stripper money.
I just want you to know that I hid the weed. Once you find another job, I'll tell you where it is. Happy Hunting, bro.
I feel like he better crank it up to level RG IV tomorrow. It's the fucking playoffs.
I don't remember much and some girl almost convinced me to jump off the bridge while she held my stuff...
We're eating jello shots in the library. I love the day after Valentine's
She shows up drunk at 3am for sex and then punches me straight in the eye in the middle of it because "you're too nice."
I need to stop agreeing to hang out with people when I'm drunk.
"He's not as cute as he was last week" and "I'm not as drunk as I was last week" are basically the same sentence.
We damn well better have a snow day tomorrow. We just broke out the rum.
my roommates are pretty pissed at me. they sent me out for ice and i came back with a kitten.
Not drinking until my bday. I know it's only a few days but it feels like when couples get celibate before the wedding and there's all that tension.
Maybe those shots of hot dog water wasn’t a good idea after killing a fifth of tequila.. but who’s askin
It is like...the most transformative hard on I have ever had.
Randomize
