You should get sea herpes
I mean sea horses
I love college. Only here at ten in the morning can you hear "Man, hot sauce on my pussy was my worst idea in a long time." while walking down the hall.
Everything was good until you pulled the bartenders hair because she cut you off
by "whatever happens, happens" i meant "we are totally hooking up again on tuesday." i thought that was obvious.
And I feel bad.
Because we're having a serious discussion about our sex life and you're playing minecraft?
if you had such a terrible roommate you would understand. jacking off in his conditioner is just the start.
2 men making out for 2 seconds to trick a cop so they don't get arrested for being pulled over rolling a blunt is not gay.
He brought her home and fucked her in a gingerbread man costume in a cardboard rapunzel castle. He had a pretty good night.
Hey! I need booze. And penises. And a lot of mistakes that I will regret in the morning.
What! You have to go to class. Otherwise, you're wasting money that could have been spent on weed. Gotta get that shit in perspective.
Ah. Hot spring. Infinitely less skeevy than a hot tub. These North Carolinian dudes are all class.
why isn't there a kind of gay where i let guys give me head but they don't expect me to give it back? i could be that kind of gay
He was that good?
When my beach tent arrives , I strongly suggest quitting our jobs and becoming homeless beach drunks
so third time im replacing the batteries on my vibrator in 2 months #sosingle....on another note though, black beauty is raring to go
I'm pretty sure I just won at life. I touched the bushy tail of a squirrel while he had his mouth full and was digging in a plant on campus. That is all.
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