Last night while we were having sex, 'God bless the USA' started playing on his itunes. He came almost immediately... so awkward.
we were dressed as cave people and he kept telling everybody i was so easy a caveman could do it.
Hahaha you puked all over his shirt.
You puked in the planter and everyone saw your snatch.
Well someones bitter they didn't get any.
Well he's not a stripper, so we're already doing better than my last date.
She just sucked the buffalo sauce out of my beard. I've never been so disgusted and hard in my life.
I spent an hour trying to convert bar outfits to church outfits. Its hard.
in light of our recent drunken behavior, i think it's time we seriously consider hiring ourselves a babysitter.
we fucked while standing on a ladder. challenging, but worth it.
Peeing off the roof of a motel lighting a cigar with matches and speaking fluent spanish with a chilen exchange student...how do iget into these situations?
Can't talk right now. I'm doing tequila shots with my professor at some Mexican bar. That's how I prepare for finals.
yea plus he's gonna be wearing his gumby costume so that'll take a lot of pressure off too
At a point I was just cumming dust last night
I just want a boyfriend who will have sex to Disney Pandora.
But seriously, I love having sex with you and simultaneously know I never wanna date you.
Hhhaaa He said Peanutburter disinfect lol. Like peanut butter can disinfect stuff. None of those guys are safe
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