OMg patrick swayze is the sexuest man he is killing me I'm gonna get dehydrated if I don't stop looking at him
I think they should rename 16 and pregnant to "I was fucked in highschool and all I got was a baby and humiliated infront of the nation on MTV"
Do you realize that we tried to rent a limo at 5am to come and take us to waffle house?
lets make a pact to never make a pregnancy pact
I literally stabbed myself so I had a valid reason to get out of having sex with her
Found her with a stray dog now called champagne, crying about how she feels a mom now. Had to take her home. The dog too.
time for you to cut the loving, understanding, non-judgmental crap and say/do whatever it takes to make sure I never, ever, ever sleep with him again ever
In this town being related to a brewing family or the owner of a sports team is like being royalty. It's like hooking up with the queen's nephew or something.
My favorite thing about your netflix account "suggestions for you" section: Russias Toughest Prisons is followed immediately by Strange Sex
Say what you will, but only I can throw up on someone's door and make it look like art.
That's the last time I'm letting you drink that apple vodka
There is nothing worse than the batteries of your vibrator dying on valentines day
He said he didn't want to go down on me so I told him we were going to have an oral stalemate.
He also deemed that the fact that I couldn't log into Netflix was not an emergency. He's wrong.
I'm getting paid over-time to sit on reddit and look at dicks and abs all day. I'm really happy right now.
I'm supposed to be at work in 10 min, I just woke up and am 45 min away...tinder for the win
Randomize
