I see lights
Your drunk and in times square. Time to take the 2 train home.
are you sure you're not interested? he's the dunkin donuts employee of the month.
so i finally decided to ask her out. she started mumbling, then she puked on me. i think i'll try again when she's sober
Just so you know I would totally fuck you. Does that count as a feeling?
Lauren she was gnawing on a dresser. Gnawing. On. A. Dresser.
Actually I think I might be dying right now so if I do you have to drink all my vodka
You're so demanding.
I told him I had AIDS after he bit me. His dad cried. I think I just ruined the little guy's 3rd birthday, but he had in coming.
by 11 am we'd already been drunk twice. how much lower can you go?
New brilliant plan: invite two random okcupid girls to the same bar at the same time, have them compete
it is a dangerous dangerous place where morals and dignity go to die and all your fantasies about men become reality.
MY BRAIN IS OSCILLATING. DOES THAT EVEN MAKE SENSE
our next stoner-chievment: cream of shroom soup. Get over here, this is happening!
I don't need tinder boy anymore but I do need free sushi
I’m doing some soul searching to figure out how much of a slut I’m going to be the rest of the summer.
I saw some guy masturbating in the Burger King parking lot and I’m just fucking done
Randomize
