I just found out the guys at work had a bet as to who could sleep with me before i move away.
Who won?
All of them.
Killed two birds with one stone: found my wallet and unclogged the toilet.
Just threw up in a trash can by the ATM. Then pulled out money for weed.
I bought this skirt with every intention to have it wrapped around my tits by the end of the night. So, I'm not a whore. I'm a self-fulfilling prophecy.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't want to have to force feed him my vagina!!
Just gave a gay guy pointers on how to make anal not hurt. Reevaluation of life choices: in progress.
friends don't put videos of other friends on youtube puking on their professor on the first day
Then he shook the next streetlight but this one broke and fell over. He told me, "This is the part where we run."
Also, you need to stop getting hammered and taking showers with people.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
HE LITERALLY JUST PEED IN MY ROOM IDK WHAT TO DO HELP
I never thought it would be so hard to find a power hour partner at 2 on a Wednesday
Just test drove the kilt for Justin's wedding. NEVER. WEARING. PANTS. AGAIN.
The fact that I can now puke rainbows on snapchat makes my life that much better
Dicks are not precious.
We've been taking shots, cranking Marilyn Manson, and eating your bacon. Your kid is probably ruined.
Randomize