im getting my college education on yahoo answers.
the pizza man had no reaction when jackie and me opened the door naked, i guess he's used to that shit
I told her for every minute she spent down there, I would donate a dollar to the Haiti relief fund... totally worked
Just bought a beer belt to complete the Captain America outfit. I will do my part as a hero of America to pass out beer to the good citizens of America.
now that you've tased me I refuse to buy you flowers
My number one goal in life is to find out who can fill a keg with Popov
Dude, for your own safety, do not bring that chick home. I'm pretty sure you're going to find a marsupial pouch smuggling a fresh batch of herpes under that hoodie. Bail bail bail bail bail.
I'm eating a piece of cake like an apple. At least my thought process is healthy.
Had a guy offer me a shot. But he wimped out when I asked for tequila and instead ordered gummi bear shots. I don't think he has balls. I didn't stick around to find out.
Don't you judge us. Sockets make ideal bowls
Turns out the owner of the bar that I fucked used to be on Boy Meets World, but now he's old and bald. So there's that..
How do you get kicked out of 3 different Subways in one night..
Not very gracefully, that's how.
Note to Self: Never again eat a weed brownie by yourself two hours before a tornado warning in your exact location.
no offense but you looked like shit yesterday
tequila is unforgiving..
maybe you should have closed the porn before you gave the professor your computer to hook up to the projector?
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