can you sing with all the voices of the mountain? can you paint with al the colors of the windddd
wasted?
im pocohantasssss
The vibrator you gave me is probably the one thing I will never give up if we got robbed at gunpoint
I sat on his lap and we shared a beer. I feel like that's an invitation to his dick.
He told me that I smelled like a Glade Plug-in, then sang the Menard's jingle in it's entirety in between kissing me.
You screamed for campus security to do something about the police officer who dumping ur 40
I just woke up to three voicemails from you. In the first one you just straight laughed for 3 minutes. In the second you did bird calls. In the third you were hysterically crying. Have fun last night?
My roommate made me a peanut butter and sprinkles sandwich. Maybe tonight isn't that bad
U can find me on my couch hungover eatin tuna evaluating my life
Smoked a blunt with a girl i met at the bus stop today. What you did today is irrelevant
Just rolled up to a matinee showing of THE HOBBIT. At the dollar theater. Alone. In sweats. With a fifth of sunnybrook and leftover pizza in a ziplock. There's a dude here in cape with his elderly mother. I'm handling this breakup FIIIIIINE.
He had to put the child locks on the windows so you would stop screaming at random boys
How much booze could a drunk brad chug when a drunk brad does chug booze?!?
All. The answer is always all
i just took a huge shit in old main. i think my college bucketlist is finished.
Hi, I put a dog in your house, I hope it's yours.
I thought i was doing pretty well but I walked into my first class and everyone on my side of the room immediately asked how drunk and high I was
Randomize
