seriously this is one of those moments where im glad i dont really talk to or know the people i sleep with
Well said.
My doc was like ur only supposed to have 6 sexual partners..thats just one semester at college
Your brother just informed me that half a mouthful is a unit of measurement. I love talking to members of your family.
She woke up 3 seperate times, each time she had a look of pure terror on her face, she had no clue where she was.
thanks for showing me a good time......and your penis a few times. Thanks especially for that.
How do you set tits on fire ? I swear her tits were on fire.
This is now the friendly bartender typing for him. He wants to be on you. He is going to "destroy your vagina". Good luck and sorry if this woke you up!
I don't have any bail money, if that's where this conversation is going
I'm texting you the word "cockring" because I feel it hasn't been said enough throughout our friendship.
For graduation he gave me roses, a giraffe necklace, and a butt plug. I think this might be my one shot at true love
Well shit, I would've slept with him if I knew he was gonna be in the draft.
I would literally only have sex with a dinosaur right now.
I can't possibly be the only person who has ever eaten Cheetos with a spoon to avoid the powder getting in my fingers
Ive got small boobs, but they sure do like to pop out and party with the big dogs.
I'm telling you, I 'm beginning to think that my vagina is magical.
Randomize
