Where did you get a picture of my penis
Dude, I'm so high in the forest and I think I'm in a bear den.
There was so much of it... it was like he poured a bowl of pudding on my face. It's not bad for your hair is it?
I told her i was enlisting in the air force tomorrow.....it was like the activation code to her vagina
I had a new years resolution not to be a whore anymore, but I think I'm gonna wait till 2011
"Does your mom know how big your cock is?" Worst dirty talk I've ever had.
Your remote is drenched in lotion and you expect me to believe you weren't masturbating?!
At Grandmas for dinner. She is drinking a smirnoff ice. As soon as I saw it I had to stop myself from yelling chug.
We left the window open. My vibrators funeral is at 2ish.....bring a side dish or some shit.
Thank you as well. My penis is starting a slow-clap right now.
you dragged me by my throat over to the shots. this is a new level of alcoholism..
I mean I'm into guys with money but more into guys I'm actually attracted to
yeah i guess i'd rather he was hot than rich
wow i don't know if that qualifies as growing up but if it does i'm all in
His last Google search was "will sperm ruin the retina display on Apple products?"
I'm like 89% sure I could get him to buy me a car in exchange for a half-assed handy.
Oh and he asked if I would occasionally still blow him if we had children. It was so romantic.
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