Hey, do you have a beer bong you could drop off at my little brother's place?
The answer to your question is yes. I am wearing a star of david to the bar in order attract a jewish man.
the problem with open bar is i never know what to get
did you really just start a sentence with "the problem with open bar is..."
The interviewer had a hook for his right hand I TRIED TO SHAKE HIS HOOK WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME
When u wake up, don't be alarmed by the passed out mariachi band, they're cool. Muchos gracias
I never want to hear the words unlimited shots for boobs in the same sentence ever again.
you pulled down your pants to convince a girl you were god
We fucked to the rythmn of the thunder, it was magical
We have a pile of chopped wood here that suggests we may have chopped down a tree of some sort.
wtf... you literally introduced yourself as "that friend who's going to fuck all your other friends."
I hope you know that means regardless of their gender.
also new logic of mine : I fuck a Scottish kid , Scotland national animal is a Unicorn airgo I've come close to fucking a unicorns descendent, mother always said dreams come true
I deflowered you on valentines day. I AM THE BEST AT ROMANCE. LOVE ME.
Why is there multiple peanut butter and toasts stuck to the fridge door?
Everyone should just give me a copy of their keys. I take your dog out and I bring beer.
I have to lie to someone and move five gallons of fermenting alcohol across campus but after that i'll hit you up 4 sho
Randomize
