I will be home in 10 min. Dont be beating off on the couch
enter at your own risk
Dude manswers just said that a guy can only cum up to eight times in one day. I'm gonna prove that show wrong.
ha well at least you have goals.
i went to go through my sent box of drunk texts from last night and they were all deleted... i'm going to assume drunk me made the executive decision that sober me would be better off not knowing what they said
You kept screaming how great you were at drawing poptarts and you insisted on drawing them all over my forearm
i love him because he let me keep my UGGS on while we had sex
well I already know I'm going to hell, at this point it's really go big or go home
I told her my hands were paint brushes and her vagina was my canvas
He has a lot of emotional energy invested in your vagina.
Cooked breakfast with his mom this morning...I'm like the housewife of one night stands
Ugh I need to clean my floors/walls/ I actually don't understand why boys get drunk and pee on things
Next time one of us has a party everybody has to wear a diaper. But actually you just need a shit ton of disinfectant wipes and maybe a hazmat suit.
my window is missing, there is half a pizza jammed into the disk slot of my PS3, and the entire kitchen floor is covered in cerial i cant see any wood floor. did we have fun?
I just used a thesaurus to write a sext...
He started a convo with me by saying that we went to high school together and then recommended I try meth.
I mean, don't most people have like a two week grace period where it's okay to ditch new friends?
long story short, he tried to fuck me standing up, toppled over, and now I have four stitches next to my eye
Randomize
