im going to pretend im pregnant so i can eat a lot then i will accidentally fall down the stairs
At an apparent methhead hillbilly bar and was smiling for a pic when one toothless wonder screamed "look at all them teeth"!
we were going to warn you, but we veto-ed that idea somewhere between "this is the stupidest thing we've ever done" and "let's order a pizza"
looking back, maybe 11 flaming dr peppers was a little extreme
They glued all of the ceiling tiles shut.
oh my god. you caused complete remodeling to a college campus that you don't even go to
the whole "pretend to be sober/pull it together for my family" thing really blew up in my face when i threw up into my pillowcase.
I wouldn't blame my organs if they just decided to quit working after this weekend
Attempting to sleep without a bra since i got my nips pierced wish me luck. Also almost sent that to my coworker.
I'm gonna have to get you a special blowjob bib -- like a lobster bib -- but instead of a picture of a little red lobster, it will have a picture of a penis, with 3 big squirts coming out.
When and where the fuck did we get a beach ball??
Much like Dre, I was forgotten about.
I'm so annoyed. We're about to buy groceries for the week and at this point I'm hoping to sustain myself on pure alcohol.
well he said my boobs made him believe in love at first sight so that's cool
As a paramedic, it's completely unacceptable to black out on a monday. I cant handle 3 dollar shot night.
Ive completely stopped wearing makeup. Not even eyebrows. Thats how sick of wisconsin I am.
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