Things I find upon waking: a gay man, a straight girl both clad in web bathing suits, a full bathtub, an empyt bottle of jamesons at the bottom and a scuba mask
i don't mind that he's uncut. i like it! it's like a little sweater!
a cock doensn't need a sweater! especially a skin sweater! wtf.
That's like some buffalo bill hannibal lector shit.
Ps what kind of horrible ppl are we that we both checked blackberries during sex and neither minded?
you should have heard her the other night. no sentence related to one preceding it. it was like she was in etch a sketch and when she moved she forgot everythin
Wait, we're on the hunt for addys and explosives. They're both in this house somewhere.
So Easter dinner for me was at 4:40 this morning where i made Bagel Bites and had a glass of Chardonnay
Apparently, I woke him up at 4AM, and yelled "you're mad because we don't have sex," while grabbing his dick. Then immediately fell back asleep, dick in hand.
Did you get my bra back of the bartender?
I seriously think we need to revision your idea of 'keeping a low profile'
You claimed your dick was a divining rod, spun in a circle 3 times and walked into the bar you stopped in front of...consequently there was a bikini shoot going on
This coming from the girl who broke up with a guy because she found out he played the tuba in middle school.
Synchronized big wheels back flips off the second floor roof. Good idea or great idea?
After we were finished she said "That was like marriage sex". Should I take that as a compliment or insult?
Yeah... I still gave her a hug because I felt really bad though. I mentioned that my boyfriends grandma just died too, just to reinforce that I'm straight afterwards.
Almost bit the guy's hand who sits in front of me because he was stretching. That. Bored.
Fulfilled a bucket list goal last night. Borrowed a dollar from a stripper to buy smokes
God bless Atlanta.
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