You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
i'm sick of taking my pants off and seeing a look of disappointment on the girls face. i want her to be frigthened
He freaked out when I started to orgasm. He said he never knew girls could orgasm too.
We can add pilot to the list of people who's lives I've changed...with my penis.
I ate goldfish off your shoulder, I think we had bigger issues
I guess I fell on the bar and kept trying to get back in telling the bouncer that I left my teeth at the bar. Woke up this morning with chipped tooth
some people spend their whole lives trying to find their soulmate. who knew mine was hiding in utah successfully balancing a pageant career and a coke habit.
Brownies hit. And just found beer. And the bill cosby show is on. And its in spanish.
I know. But whatever I'll just eat cold pizza and play with my cats by candlelight
Just blowing bubbles with my nipple rings in my shower.
You always make things weird.
I think I'm going to add the date I dumped his sorry ass as a life event on FB.
I think that's justified.
I was doing karaoke to "baby got back" and apologizing for being white at the same time.
Dude get here. I just re-invented nachos. For real though. They werent real before right now
Just by hearing the girl outside reciting the info on her fake ID, I know it's gonna be a good night
I’M PUT OFF FROM FOOD RN BC EARLIER I GOT SOME WATER AND I WAS 4 SIPS IN WHEN I NOticed A FUCKING BURGER KING F R Y IN MY D R I N K
Randomize
