Just got my rental car in Iowa...gas is under 2 dollars in des moines...this is not a real state
I got my half for the rent already.I called the cops on the drug dealer neighbor and got a 500 bucks as a reward
i just woke up in the hallway. not my hallway. i officially raise my hand to be DD next week.
Think worst case scenario and then dress sluttier
Noooo. We thought it would be funny for him to wake up buried in the sand. But we just remembered about the whole high tide thing and it's dark and it's pretty damn hard to find an unconscious head sticking out of the sand. Just help us out
Those mornings you wake up with a Barbie tramp stamp are the mornings that are the that are going to make me miss this place
151 hangover. Need apocalypse.
Want to run by the liquor store later? Tequila Youn should really be in attendance at Party Mountain. No one else could be our spirit animal.
do you ever just look around and think about how great it is to have depth perception? Like it's really, really cool when u think about it
I'm sure nobody at Walmart was wondering why I was wearing a glittery tutu and needed $300 changed into small bills
I shoulda been born a dude. There's too much power in a vagina.
I don't want to go back to the suburbs. Being drunk in public isn't ok and theres too many children. Don't make me.
While all of the skanky girls from the crowd got on stage we screamed fair game and scoped out all their boyfriends, she made out with 2, this is what we call taking advantage of the situation
Just found $31 in my desk drawer. In $1's. WTF happened last night?!
just played fuck the dealer and thunderstruck with my physics ta. he is the third ta that i have drank with this semester, i think i'm getting good at college
Randomize
