I was just at the urinal, started to go, then farted, then said oh yea out loud, then heard someone move in the stall behind me
I would give away a ton of these clothes but I doubt there are any homeless people who dress as slutty as me
Call me pathetic, but saying "tits for ireland" is working out really well on chatroulette today.
The plus side of face planted at the tailgate was that no one could see my nipples hanging out.
He would only do it doggy style. The "he's probably gay" debate rages on...
Let's play a little game of "Last Night Never Happened"
As girls, Bert & Ernie are not very bangable costumes. At least not by who we'd want to get banged by.
I was kidding. But I promise you I'd still find us the most eligible bangables, even if we dressed up like a dumpster and a prom night baby.
This election needs to be over, im tired of girls asking who im going to vote for mid hookup
Getting drunk and throwing things at people isnt the same with you not here. Remember when you dislocated my elbow and then popped it back in in one motion?
Who replies to a drunk text at 6am that's like against the rules of being a designated drunk text receiver
4 out of 7 roommates in one month isn't that bad if you think about the fact that 3 of them were in the last 24 hours
I just scored a new eye doctor and a date all in one email. BOOM!
the worst fight me and my gf ever had was over Guy fieri
You can be responsible and still be on that ho life
Who died my cat blue again?
Randomize
