mmm... i enjoy making beautiful women smile
I'm on his itunes. He has a sex playlist. It's actually not so much a playlist as 12 Kylie Minogue songs with a big gay Whitney finish.
It doesn't count as drinking alone if you're making rum cake with it.
Do you ever wonder how many people have prayed for you to be a better person?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You ad-libbed two DETAILED rounds of price is right, 1 wheel of fortune, and 1 deal or no deal.... by yourself with sound effects and music included
Nothing like playing hide and seek with a state patrol officer early in the morning to get your heart rate up.
my question is who was more confortable? You sleeping on the floor or me tweeting from a bush?
I worked hard to give you that boner. No one else should get to enjoy it!
Because nothing screams stable like yelling at a guy in a bar because last time you hooked up he stole your underwear.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
True love: he brought me a margarita while was in the shower. He's a keeper.
What!? It's 7:30am on gameday. This keg is not going to drink itself.
Got paid 100 bucks to babysit a kid for five hours while hungover. I slept the whole time and threw up twice. Yes 100 bucks.
I spent most of my night in the men's room eating popcorn on the garbage can conversing with strangers pissing
leads to pukin, then cryin, then 24hr masturbatin binge, then cryin again and finally a combination of all 3
Now all my porn is stored in my parents’ basement. It’s like a part of my soul is boxed up
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