haha i took a picture of myself naked on her camera
She didnt have a camera...
Lets date for the summer
what?
Dont love me in September.
question: from what angle do you give a hand job. im confused..
i think i will get a tattoo on my butt that says "im not bluffin with my muffin", but i guess if i was serious, i would get it above my c-section scar
so high i just made my own version of grilled cheese using toast and spray cheese
here comes the puke
He was waring a speedo fashioned out of american flag bandanas and when he got hard he said "you're such a patriot...raising the american flag like that"
...She just said, "We've been blessed with good drugs lately."
I need to have sex with you on our hotel room window ledge... This is a need not a request.
When i say that im working late and also have a paper to write before 9am tomorrow all i want u to respond is saying that ur gunna come over and sexually distract me from my responsibilities. Not a fucking frowny face.
Sorry. Im on my way.
Jesus christmas you are like the Martha Stewart of threeway planning
So your bra was hanging in the Christmas tree last night at some point I think
I just pulled the nickels from earlier out of my bra in class. The guy next to me is either terrified or intrigued.
My liver is fucking rocky. Get knocked down 7 times and gets up 8. World champ
The walk of shame was so much longer today. i have to start fucking guys in my own postcode.
I'm fine. Heading home now...crying. Michael Bolton totally understands me!
Randomize
