My mom just informed me that my dog licks their toes while her and my dad are having sex. I'm apartment searching.
im pretty sure every drug dealer is going to be able to retire the day after alice in wonderland comes out
i think he just broke into a bike shop his last text said something about hiding in some tree
Nope, I'm sticking to passive aggressive punishments. Like mismatching his socks and cumming on his leather couch. OCD is so wonderful.
you're being fucking weird and i don't like it. text me when you're not being the after picture on a poster for rehab
2048oz a keg...divide that by solo cup... comes out to 128 beers...simplifies into 5.3repeating cases...drinkable between two people
and u failed math?
She is watching her grandpa for the day and the dude just whipped it out and started jerking off while watching the View.
So I thought the party was crazy before his pinky came off...
As sure as my left ball is bigger then my right. We will have our moment.
The amount of dicks I have seen in the last hour is more than I have seen in my whole life.
he looks like the poster child for myspace how the hell does he have other hoes?
Why would you keep yourself in a sharting situation
The man built me a fort. Of course he got laid.
if you go to jail tonight, call call me. i wanna get out of work
I'm hung over and my mom made me go to church. I feel like such a sinner.
I need an aspirin and some dignity.
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