3:38a: you guys up to anything right now?
? is bags or t-bags slang for scrotum?
jesus mom
Three words: puerto rican gang bang
I may be a little high but I'm pretty sure my alphabet soup has only Os in it
We call that spaghetti Os
one more question, do you know why i woke up with 5 pounds of quarters, nickels and dimes in my pocket?
can you explain why there is a dead rabbit in my front seat?
idk, I had a turtle in mine.
I mean I'm forever immortalized as the one who puked in his dad's straw hat.
Someone just asked if you were the one who rode around the bar on some girls back
we're almost there. Shes pounding on the car window telling the nurse whos on a smoke break to fuck off.
Driving by his house every hour is not stalking, it's a reconnaissance mission... How else can I confront him
FRIENDSHIP PRAYER: May the crabs of 1,000 whores infest the crotch of the person who fucks up your day
I have to answer enough questions about you, I don't need your uterus tossed in the conversation.
Forgot my sound was off and didnt even realize it until halfway through because I thought I could hear it. I think high me just narrated half a clip of adventure time
I'm not drunk because I think my blood just is alcohol from last night so being drunk is sober. If that makes sense
Just got to her place. Her parents are here and are high as a kite.
Her father just game me a high 5 as they left the room. Her mom leaned in and said "this is a rebound thing"
Randomize
