maybe if you didn't yell 'buh duh duh da duh da dats all folks' when you came she wouldn't have left last night
Does it bother you that I left your underwear hanging in a tree at the zoo? i think the turtles are enjoying it.
the toilet has never flushed louder then when you sneak home drunk and try to avoid your parents hearing you puke.
Ketchup is God's man juice
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just witnessed two asians having sex for the first time ten feet away from me..hes having a seizure..what the duck is going on???
its 10 pm and i am cleaning vomit off the ceiling. i am nowhere near drunk enough for this to be funny.
Nicole wore just a belt and her pedometer and hopped on top of me last night. She "walked" 822 steps before we finished.
New charity walk idea!
The lesbians are drunkenly meowing in the hallway again. This is the shit I'll miss at home.
I know eh? If a man wants to pay 7 bucks to see some boobies he should be allowed to do so in peace.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Come over we're celebrating the one month anniversary of her first 4/20
All I could think of during that funeral was how great I look in a suit, how creepy catholics are, and how horny I am.
She makes him look at her naked pics before she sends them to someone she's actually going to fuck. I think this makes him mayor of the friend zone.
Being able to fart in my own house is like 90% of why I pay rent
He was making a joke about signing my name on this piece of paper. He has a whole bucket filled with names on pieces of paper. I think thats how he keeps count.
I just woke up in a prom dress on your bathroom floor, yea I'm 32.
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