no more stoned jack in the box. this is the third night in a row.
all i know is that each time we woke up we were at a different chinese restaurant. help.
Plus you know he's just 2 semesters and 4 glasses of wine away from "experimenting" with some French major
I never thought I would say this but I have to clean queso off my vibrator
Just walked out of my apartment and came face to face with a shirtless dude playing with his balls and trying to tie his shoes.
Fuck I keep finding new battle scars from our fight. Justin told me I stabbed you with a broom handle.. Do you remember ripping my pants off?
She just laid there, sucking on a piece of steak, with the most content look on her face. Just before she passed out (steak still on her mouth) she said the cat box needed to be emptied
I kept calling him escargot instead of Estaban..I don't think that was the wisest choice.
I GOT A VENDING MACHINE FOR OUR LIVING ROOM
He goes "sorry was at the gym. Some of us workout " and I wanted to text him back and go "well some of us do occasional drugs so we don't have to"
Just blowing bubbles with my nipple rings in my shower.
You always make things weird.
That's a lot of judgement coming from a man wearing a dress made from a bedsheet.
Man I can't wait till Thursday if strippers and beer are what you consider "research"
I wasn't going to just ask my parents for a damn vibrator for christmas
Today I learned that when you lick a mans butthole, you get wined and dined at a nice french restaurant.
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