Sex on bubble wrap = best decision ever.
ok so the lil girl sitting behind u was picking the hairs off ur sisters back and putting them in her mouth
We were hooking up, both of us naked. She starts putting her clothes back on and says, "I have to go to the bathroom." I reply, "No you don't, you're leaving." Without hesitation she looks at me and says, "Yeah."
I knew I was high when I wanted to write a poem about how great it felt to wash my face
I've come to accept that no matter where I step in our apartment, your underwear will be there.
You're asking the wrong person. I was drunk on nyquil and jager.
Bartender just fed me brownie. Its going to be a good night
Talked to Nate, told him he was a douche. Will give details when sober. It's ok. You're my best friend together a wolf pack. Olive juice.
IM WEARING A FLAG
So that's a no to the clothes then
FLAG
Once you jizz in someones hat, you cant take it back.
I'm debating a nap but also debating breaking into the liquor cabinet
I can't remember the last time I saw a penis in person that I didn't see a million times on text first
We'll handle his penis the same way we handle day drinking; together.
Bowls and Harry Potter this morning. I guess work isn't so bad after all
Have I told you i love you?
there's no need we are two peas in a naughty pod of fuckery
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