i think i gave myself a perma-hangover. or god just hates me.
I just punched cris angel in the balls. I have photos.
Slut skills are useful in every country.
There aren't nearly as many guys masturbating on chatroulette as i was led to believe...i feel cheated
better to have posed nude and lost than to never have posed nude at all...thats what i always say
Don't blame the cocaine for your eating disorder.
I deleted my history right in front of my girlfriend w/out her seeing. Let's go skydiving with no parachutes. I can live thru anything.
He told me that before I went to bed I needed to do my stretches and then processed to demonstrate a squat thrust, while completely naked.
it's just not right when you're boyfriend has a nicer ass than you do.
I just want nice things and good sex
Some guy in the bathroom just took his shirt off and proceeded to tell me the story behind all of his stab wounds. That's what I get for making small talk
when I type Christina's, my phone's predictive text assumes my next word is boobage
Then, he ate me out while I watched Bo Burnham. Best. Night. Ever.
I just bought spray paint, a T-shirt, and a box of magnum condoms. The cashier refused to make eye contact! Haha
I gave her the last ten dollars to my name and bitch comes back with a six pack of bud light and a pack of sour patch kids
Randomize
