alone in the kitchen at 4 am eating a hotdog.
I'm thinking of having one or both of my boobs out. They're small but they're mighty.
then for some reason i googled "how much to buy a cannon"
My dad just walked in on me screwing the chick from the bar...the look of relief on his face was sort of hurtful.
Taking jello shots out of a big bowl from a measuring spoon. holla atcha boy.
Important info for allergy season. An orgasm will unblock stuffy sinuses.
Moment of the night: you were impatient while I paid for the tequila shots and proceeded to lick and salt MY hand for me. This is why we're roommates.
Did you find any other hidden treasures in my room? Specifically weed? Or Slim Jims?
I spent the whole weekend building houses out of popsicle sticks for my bowls. How was your weekend?
Peeling duct tape off of my dick is definitely one of the stranger sensations that I've experienced.
Do pleather leggings scream im easy on a first date?
There would be some who claim I got a little "carried away" or that we "probably don't need that many jello shots". They would be wrong.
I'm just gonna go with where the wind takes me. if it takes me to his dick, so be it.
Drunk me really does appreciate that sober me made a list of movies to watch when drunk it saves so much time
I got poked in the eye with a penis last night. How's your day?
Randomize
