You up for the gym tonight after work?
I'm up for a light workout and a nice yog.
Fair enough, I'm gonna hit it hard today.
Chris Brown style, or less felonious?
Haha, all felonious.
Happy Easter!!!
I'm an idiot
Ps there is totally a drug addled prostitute in olympic pizza asking for change for a 100 bill
ya and he came three minutes into it because he didnt have sex all summer
oh that makes more sense i knew you arent that good
She called me Spock and proceeded to ask me to 'teach her the ways of the force'. I just couldn't do it after that. No way am I fucking a girl who can't tell the difference between Star Wars and Star Trek.
Thanks for the birthday present, i had so much fun playing with it
Are you talking about my vagina?
no seriously he was fingering me like he was really really frantically looking for a song on his iPod.
I don't know how I got here... but I think I'm in a Christian Impact meeting... I'm trying to act as straight as possible. They can sense gay.
Call me when you get off. I have stories about black lesbians in jail begging to braid my hair...
I have stripper ass cheeks all over my glasses
There seems no grander way to celebrate 420 than to smoke atop a mountain peak.
It may not have seemed like it to you, but I was very sad that I was cheating on my GF with you. I was crying on the INSIDE.
Turns out he's not a Doctor Who fan, I mumbled Alons-y as I went down on him. He asked who Alan was. No more drunk sex for me!
my life is turning into trapped in the closet at way too fast a speed for me to feel comfortable.
Sundays were made for eating Ramen pantless in bed.
Randomize
