Last night I fell down in the street (I think in someone's vomit), cut my knee up, lost my moms necklace and my license, and had to walk back to the hotel.
Actions speak louder than words. Her actions scream crazy.
You'd think me telling him that I'm a lesbian would make him realize that I don't want to hook up with him.
I waited so long to accept his friend request that he canceled it. So I added him and when he accepted I deleted him. I wonder how long this will be funny to me
every facebook tagged picture of yours, you are either drinking, swimming or drunk in water
I'm just gonna ignore the fact that I have no pants on and find a way home. A good one-nighter never goes back for his pants.
I mean it's my life so what if i want to drink Molson from my sparkly shoes and not regret anything
I swear to god, allah, buddah and motherfucking oprah winfrey... if I have to stay here any longer because you are holding us up I will choke you out.
Had a grope session with a girl who looked like my Mom and had the same name as her as well. I think therapy is in order.
It happened to me once. But i washed off in a duck pond and walked home naked.
Despite popular belief cocaine is not a good pre-workout
I lost the right to judge tonight
WHY DID HE INTRODUCE ME TO HIS MOM? CAN'T HE JUST HIDE ME LIKE EVERYONE ELSE I'VE EVER DATED?@!
I'm a mess. I mean I almost got off but I'm a fucking rubics cube down there so il givenhim the point
This is what I get for listening to Christians.
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