he drunkenly confessed to whacking off before coming over so the sex'd be longer. this one's a keeper
He had a number 3 tattooed on his penis. And when I asked what it meant, he said " you know like dale earnhardt, the intimidator".
I would pay so much money for a video of you fucking a sheep
if women knew the size of my dick, theyd be much more receptive to my sloppy drunken advances
I don't know what you drank last night but you really enjoyed the 4 egg body shots.
We all know tonight is going to end like every other night with you. drunk, pantless and confused. Dont try to switch things up.
votre penis est TRES GRAND. i used vous because your penis is SO big
Besides the flaccid incident, it was decent. Average sized. So this is my life now. Loneliness and lackluster sex.
I miss you too. And it was nice meeting your brother while I was mounting you
Discovery: bouncers seem to get really upset about fire
Fuckin wine wasted last night. Found my pants in the toilet this morning.
We're making a scrapbook of dick pics, you want in or what?
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST.
They're giving you narcotics aren't they?
If I offered to share would you come visit me?
I should probably just LinkedIn request everyone I've ever slept with so they stop popping up on my suggested connections list
Randomize
