it was all good till he told me to dance slow and quiet
The professor just announced to the class that I talked to him in the bar on my birthday.
he told me it was a naked video of him so i opened it. i just got rickrolled while sexting
you kept shouting how the only tree you would hump is an elm tree because they're under populated
the way i see it him paying 500 bucks for my fake abortion is karma's way of punishing him for cheating on his wife
Well if were past the bullshitting stage yes if not then no I'm not that kind of guy
Oh that's what I forgot last night.. To make out with her.
Doing the walk of shame and bringing my dad a newspaper en route. Favourite daughter status confirmed.
I woke up tied to my bed while she was in the corner staring at me while eating cereal. Interesting night!
Fell twice in five points. on my face. literally during a cross walk. The cars just went around me. 21st birthday memories right there
telling her she was ovary-acting wasn't the greatest idea. doing it in a text so she could see your spelling was where you really went wrong, though.
That's what he gets for shittin at the strip club. Who does that??
Things you do not want to hear after sex: I almost lost my gum in your pussy. Really dude, don't share that with me!
Also he said my vagina was sculpted by gods so there must be some feelings here.
Listening to sad Lana Del Rey songs together is an integral part of the lesbian bonding process
Randomize
