Most awkward sex ever...
And im texting you in the middle.
i think i would be perfectly content if, on my deathbed, i could look back on a life that didn't have any fisting in it
is it bad that while shopping i looked specifically for clothes that hold their form after taking them off and putting them on again and again?
I admire the strength of friendship we have that allows for sharing husbands.
they could make at least 3 episode of "i shouldn't be alive" out of my weekend
We learned a valuable lesson from last night. You can, in fact, order bacon on a Big Mac.
i may or may not have puked on your loofa in the shower.
A 300 lb dude in a sundress yelling bible verses while wearing a raggedy anne wig is just as funny as I thought it would be. Thank you san francisco.
if this hangover is indicative of how 2011 is gonna be, i want nothing to do with it
Too high to move please buy hi-c and pour it in my mouth in exchange I will marry your first born child
So the chick throws up over the rail from the 15th floor at the sky bar and I knew I would take her back to my hotel.
Just used the leftover candycorn for candycorn vodka. Our house is trying to continue the Halloween spirit for as long as possible.
Ok so last thing I remember was hugging a cop while vomiting
Btw, remind me to tell you about how I had to cancel my crazy wild sex plans with Will b/c my roommate came back from his trip after a day b/c Canada wouldn't let him in. Fucking cockblock.
Actually that's the whole story. You don't have to remind me.
I told him I was ready for another round and he said, "after this part." What guy chooses James Bond over pussy?!
Randomize
