Jesus people on campus asked me what i do for joy. I said i love sinning especially pre-marital sex.
bro i finally banged her last night on our basement couch
I'm at this frat party right now and yelled "my little 16 year old brother finally lost his virginity." They gave you a standing ovation
should my penis look like a turkey
Thanks for last night. Sorry if i was obnoxious. I respect your morals and i wouldn't want you to lose your virginity to a drunk girl in your mom's prius.
we were running to make last call and you stopped me and said very seriously "if i fall, go on without me. just make sure theres a beer in my hand when you go"
girl I've been sleeping with this summer as per her request just gave me a carton of cigs to thank me for my "hospitality". this is good.
i was staring at her drunk thinking "shes at least a four"
we are out of drugs. and patience. please bring former.
Look at my eyebrows in this pic! We deffo need to go back to that waxing place.
You have a cock in one hand and a shot in the other. Your eyebrows are not the topic in need of discussion.
We still on for coffee?
Cream and sugar. Deliver to planned parenthood in 45.
When you sober up and come in here, I'm in your bed because you pissed on me in mine. So fuck. Off.
I may or may not have just let Ash Ketchum capture my wild Pikachu in a parking lot.
He's hot and has an accent therefore you don't ask questions when he tells you to take your pants off.
Now we just need to figure out why your underwear was in your bra
He said watch this and then went and tripped into a group of 40 year old women, now he's leaving the club with them.
Randomize
