I accidentally burped into my bong.
there was a guy here who managed to get his head stuck in a fishbowl. no, I don't fuckin know how
I drew a venn diagram at the top of my final comparing stuff i know and stuff on the test.
Don't you ever say "drinking at 2" as if it's a bad thing again. I'm asking you as a friend here.
I woke up pulling sunflower seeds out of my vagina. That kind of night.
I dont even care how hung over I am, and how shitty this bus ride will be. That was the best sex of my life and it's a beautiful morning.
OH YEAH AND FORGOT TO THANK YOU FOR THE lack of WARNING THAT HE WASN'T CIRCUMSIZED.
I think we should get high on adderall and nair each other again for New years.
KETAMINE SUNDAYS ARE SERIOUSLY FUCKING ME UP!
You can't spell "party" without "RA."
You know what else you can't spell it without? "Gonna get fired."
So I'm guessing that puking on a camper is a straight path to instant termination?
So in my DUI class I had to write down 3 people I'd call if I needed to talk and why...they all want to meet you now...
My niece I'm babysitting left earlier to stay the night with her friend. I got ditched by an 8 year old.
Now I have the opportunity to have Chris Pratt or Channing Tatum?!? What a time to be alive.
i feel like if my pee,blood, or vomit is on it...it should belong to me by default. can we make that a rule?
Randomize
