go do what you do best...puke behind churches
Getting high on the stoop of a brownstone in the middle oh harlem. Doesn't get much more hey arnold than this.
I just saw the preacher from the church I grew up in while I was buying condoms at the drugstore... he remembered me.
oh no you fucking didn't eat my mac and cheese you cunt
New game: Step 1) Turn on ESPN. Step 2) Drink every time someone says "LeBron."
Did you eat 9 cans of raviolii last night?
Come on man nobody wants to admit that
Me too. We could do it like prostitutes. No kissing on the mouth.
For the record we tried to find 4th of july porn. Did not turn out well.
I shaved my legs and got a bikini wax, I don't care what I take home as long as it has a penis
I couldn't find any flowers so I brought her a cat.
So the girl I met at the bar last night came home with me. Played with my puppy. And left.
sometimes you just gotta rip off the nipple tape and get it done.
I am talking to a naked lesbian about robots. I think this means I win life.
If my one night stand asked me to move in with him right after does it still count as a one nighter?
Slept on the bathroom floor again. I hope when I turn 28 I’ll stop doing that
Randomize
