Seriously. Destroy her vagina. Do it like an angry baboon mating with a gentle manatee.
By the way, shout wipes are a gift from god for people that throw up on themselves.
what do you mean I googled how to give an awesome blow job?
i just practiced my bj skills on a banana in front of the mirror
its going to be a good night
I'm so ready for finals. She finally agreed to skypesex me from spain so now i'm up until 4am studying every morning waiting for her to get online
He sat there and debated the pros and cons of hooking up with me
Sorry for trying to give you my dresser last night. Are any of the drawers still in your car?
So I've gone into the break room to heat up a styrofoam cup 8 times over the course of 4 hours.. that desperate to see him. Now I have a broken heart AND cancer.
If I ever mention marriage force me to Brazil to do coke and strippers until I die.
I don't think ill be here long the chick I came to see is blowing rails with a drag queen
Sadly, she's the porn star that got away
I couldn't finish the episode and had to lay down because the snapple commercial with the mustache was blowing my mind
When you glanced over and and mouthed "I'll take the fat chick" I knew it was going to be an epic Sunday night.
all I remember is grinding on everyone in the room regardless of gender and quoting the lion king non-stop. We need to stop buying Jameson.
I was really surprised he asked for my number the next morning..... and my name.
Randomize
