Turns out drinking large amounts of Gentleman Jack does NOT turn you into a Gentleman -- quite the opposite actually.
Are you with Adam and his vodka?
Yeswdsssss I masde his pickle gi away ans he go anbnoued
Just did the walk of shame across state lines...milestone?
we just stared at taco bell's menu on the website for 2 hours
She had a maple leaf tattoo behind her ear and told me she liked my "playoff beard".
Only in Canada would your laziness be applied to hockey and rewarded.
You would think that an uncircumcised man would understand how the hood of a clit works.
its a vaginal recession for me, ill take what i can get
Hey, this is Travis. I just so intelligently deduced that I am in a college dorm somewhere in western oregon. Probably WOU, based on the process of elimination.
There are reggae songs being written about me...where have I gone wrong in life?
And now I have fucked a local celebrity so double free drinks at bars.
shes making a cheerios necklace using dental floss 'just in case' she gets the munchies later
I think I might be harboring a Canadian in my womb.
Maybe. I want to have sex at the fire station, most likely on one of the trucks. I wonder if I can finagle that before I tire of the spelling and grammatical errors in his texts.
Cleaning naked can be dangerous. Vacuum cord got stuck on my belly button ring...
I'm slowly starting to accept that you have to be a sociopath to be attracted to me
Randomize
