and I didnt even know his name until this morning when we were laying in bed and he referred to himself in the 3rd person.
we should become lesbians. not together. just in general.
Definitely just blazed with the housekeeper. That woman needs a raise
Part of my whole not being a slut anymore involves not giving other peoples boyfriends blowjobs
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
what is it with giant penises always finding me
This is going to be a 3 day beach sex fest. Do you understand
we made it to hole 3 and then just sat down on the fairway and finished off our case....cheered on other golfers as we let them play through.
He scratched off my spray tan. Literal nail marks down my back. Can't imagine what's underneath his fingernails.
She carries a brick in her purse. I wouldn't get in a fight with her
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She wont be able to take it all. I'll use a shoe horn to get it in if I have to.
If you're still up for that roadtrip, I managed to end up in Louisiana and could use a ride home.
Is there a hallmark card for "could you please slide the FUCK out of my DMs"....?
But I put cranberries and apples in my wine so it's festive drinking not suicidal drinking
I banged a marine last night. No wonder everybody respects them.
You started singing Baby Shark, screamed you have no idea how it goes, then somehow turned the beat into Bohemian Rhapsody
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