there is a priest convention in the hotel. i feel like god is laughing at me.
God Help those hot young girls. It's going to be like Bambi in iraq. Except worse.
I took a picture of his ID so i could remember how to spell his last name and facebook stalk him later...I think he saw me do it
Is it appropriate to get drunk, stand up at the wedding and make a toast to "the time the lovely bride asked me to come on her chest"?
our generation is not ready to get married
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's like there testing me. My dad kept handing me margaritas and saying "you can take it"
I'm riding in a wheelchair, being pulled by a golf cart. You need to be here.
Life lesson: When you compete in an impromptu "bloody mary chug-off," in the end, no one wins.
i'm currently connecting with my tribal roots aka i just found my recorder from 3rd grade music class... be ready for the recording
No he exists. Who else tells me no matter how drunk I am to pull out. He's watching over me so my bastard doesn't get created.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Kinda forgot to grab tampons. Mind if I run to my house to get one? I'd rather not turn my green skinny jeans Christmas colors
I tried snowmobiling at 2 am. I broke my glasses. You're right. Things do get out of control.
I had so much stripper lotion and body glitter on my glasses I had a hard time driving home.
Tomorrow I need you to slap me in the face. I'll explain then
I just smoked part of an Oreo cuz I thought it was some hash you left
I was trying to decide if i was still high whenever i realized i was pressing the buttons on the microwave cause i liked the sound.
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