Just saw a car with license plate GYPSYS that was full of gypsies
Did you see Brett Michaels get knocked on his ass?
Hurt me personally.
Knocked his cowboy hat off... Bandanna was still good though
even through the webcam i could tell he was aiming for my face/hair
He asked if it was my vagina. I told him it was my butt. Clearly I need to buy him a map of the female form.
i have my own cum on my nose right now. don't talk to me about "embarrassed".
The night started going downhill when I set my foot on fire.
Typcal friday morning so far. Puke, shower, commute/puke, coffee, puke, coffee, bagel, good to go. Lunch today?
Just found my socks folded and in the back pocket of my jeans. Apparently drunk me refuses to lose shit after the panties incident over New Years.
You left wolverine marks
I'm somewhere between sorry and proud
I have this terrible fear I might accidentally text a pic of my dick to my grandma
So we stayed at his mom's and all got drunk and he and I hooked up in his old bedroom. Then his drunk mom came in and tackled us when we were still naked. Why does this keep happening to me?
It wasnt until i started dancing that i realized i pissed myself dude. I dont think shes gonna call me back.
I'm going to bed early so football can come sooner
Goddamnit, guys. I got lube all over my kindle.
The seven of us sank the first paddle boat, but the second one was much nicer and we stayed afloat. Best night in a while, but we had to walk of shame for a mile.
Why are you rhyming?
Too stoned. That is how my thoughts are collecting.
Randomize
