how was that guy you hooked up with?
i used to think blowing a .05 was a good thing
He is such a slut. More and more my type.
he would probably call me "ma'am" when he's inside me. people love saying weird shit inside me.
Only you could manage to look like a complete slut while wearing a turtle neck.
And i generally try not to roofie people when I'm in a committed relationship.
I now realize that they made gum to take the taste of dick out of your mouth.
Theres a truck parked on the front yard and i just want to take this opportunity to tell you now that it is not my fault.
you goin out tonight?
who is this.
your orgasm for tonight
Do you remember trying to use a pencil, pen, and sunglasses as your second form of ID at the bar when they wouldn't let you in last night?
He invites me over too FucK and i wind up eating 6 jimboys tacos with his roommates. While he waited in his room. Maybe next time
my vagina is like this close to growling at me and leading me onto the nearest dance floor
make it buy you a drink first
I would eat the Denny's grand slam special out of my new probation officers b hole
YOU LEFT MY FUCKING BRA OUTSIDE OF YOUR HOUSE AND NEVER TEXTED ME.
I'm driving to work hungover. I feel like I got hit by a train and then drank that train too.
Well... Chad blew off half of his hand last night. We were able to find most of it.
Randomize
