I jusy said out loud "gingers unite in the middle of the night"
Is it bad that Pitbull has taught me more Spanish than high school did?
Clothes are such an inconvenience.
The last thing I remember is ordering two Martinis while yelling 'CAN YOU PUT THAT IN ONE GLASS?'
She made me sing happy birthday to myself at the urinal.
She's posted my bail. Twice. Of course I'm going to be her wing girl.
I wanted lighthearted conversation about ordering bulk condoms and anal lube but he's depressed and talking about god hating him, ugh
You missed the winter stoner olympics last night....I got the gold in blunt rolling
Called Apple, my penis pics are safe.
Let's play the game let's see how long Kayla can be sober
You would think by the size of the lump on my ass that I would have remembered falling down a flight of stairs.
My cat is watching me play with my new vibrator
Hey now one little girl thought it was cool I was covered in blood. Apparently according to her Mom she wants to be a surgeon when she grows up
The walk of shame was so much longer today. i have to start fucking guys in my own postcode.
Just try and act like you're sober
I can't I snorted an anti depressant and he's pouring me tequila shots
Randomize
